One Fine Day

One of my best friend, Irvi Rahmaniahmoved in to West Kalimantan after her marriage. It’s sad to know that now she’s thousand miles away from me but in the other side, I’m so happy for her. She finally found her true love and they lived happily together. I once met her and her husband after their marriage on May 2016 and I haven’t met her yet up until 2017. Then finally, she told me that she’ll be back to Bandung for about a week and she asked me to meet her. Yaaaayyy!!

Thursday // March 23, 2017.
We planned to meet at one of the coziest coffee shop at Dago street, Bandung, named 372 KopiIrvi also invited Fasya and Anggiet too, but sadly, Anggiet had another plan. But on the same day we planned to meet, Fasya also had a plan to meet with one of her blog friends, named Ata from Palembang, South Sumatera. I made friend with Ata too since we followed each other’s blog few weeks ago. So, the four of us finally met and we talked much about anything. It was fuuuun!


Fasya – Ata – me – Irvi



candid shot by Fasya

After we finished our coffee, our fun conversation, and after took so many good pictures, we moved to another place; Daily Dimsum at Jalan Ambon, Bandung. Fasya and me went there by her motorcycle while Irvi and Ata went there by GO-CAR. Fyi, Irvi told us that there’s no Dimsum seller in West Kalimantan so that she was so happy and wanted to taste Dimsum so bad here in Bandung.


Oh, God, what should I called this with? Heaven on earth?

You guys have to try this. The taste is good and the price is quite cheap. Oh, and the chili oil makes it any better. I promise you won’t regret it! Damn, I think I’m starving now.

Day turned to night. Our day was full of joy and laughter and our tummy was full of good food. Time for us to said goodbye. No, no, it wasn’t a goodbye, it was just see you later because I hope to see them again later, in time. Thank you Irvi for coming; I hope you always have such a good life with your husband, thank you Ata for coming; it was good to know you in a person, and thank you Fasya for your time, always. LOVE ❤

Quarter of Century Life

So I cried just a little then I’ll dry my eyes ’cause I’m not a little girl no more

That line from Paramore’s Grow Up song is actually the first thing that came up on my mind on the day I turned 25 y-o. I was once a crybaby ’cause I get sad over things easily. But as the time I grow up I realized that I have to be more tough than I’ve ever be. It doesn’t mean that I can’t cry or be sad again, no, it’s really okay to be sad sometimes, but I don’t have to live there overlong because little by little I’ll feel better again. Am I right?

So, yeah, the first day of February was my birthday and I turned 25 y-o this year. OH NO, GOD, I FEEL SO OLD. I feel like I’m still a 22 y-o girl hahaha! Even some of my friends told me I looked like an Elementary School student because I’m short, skinny, tiny, and so on. It makes me feel like I’m forever young!

In the early of February 1, I’ve got a little surprise on bed from my Mama and sister. They gave me a yummy birthday cake and a pair of shoes as a gift. Yay! Well, there wasn’t too much things we could do after that, ’cause it was also a special day for one of my bestfriend, Anggietta, she had a Skripsi defense and I decided to go to her college with Fasya, since we (me, Fasya, and Anggiet) are very close to each other. (Yes, those balloons on my photo are actually belong to Anggiet, she got it right after she finished her defense).


Fasya, Anggiet, and me right after Anggiet’s defense.

Three days after it, me, Mama, and my sister celebrated my birthday by having a little dinner on one of our fave place. Sadly, there was no Papa ’cause he still on his work in Papua. But that was okay, we had some fun! Oh, and I also got another birthday gift from my sister and I was so excited because it’s Star Wars thingy ❤

Oh, ya, I also got another surprises from my high school and college sweethearts. Many many thanks to y’all for always being there on my every special occasions. You know I love you all!

Overall, I’m thanking you Allah, for giving me such a good month with happiness within. For giving me a new age with a healthier mind. For giving me too many good people who love me and always stay. For giving me everything that money can’t buy. For everything that made me beyond happy. Alhamdulillah. Now I’m officially begin my quarter of century life and I’m ready for a new ride. Wish me luck!

A Letter to Gagi

Dear mister,
A year has been passed after my most dramatic break-up scene. People come and go after that and I’ve never been good at letting them in. It seems like I’m too afraid to believe in anything anymore, so I ignored them by building a huge wall upon myself. But then you came. You’re the most unexpected man who came in the most unexpected time. Fortunately, I broke that wall and I let you in. You make me feel like I’m ready to open up myself again. You make me wanna know you more and more each day. You make me wanna stay with you any longer. I love the way you listened to my every pointless speech and still smile after it, I love the way you laughed to my jokes even when I know I’m not that funny, and I love the way you talked about anything. You’re smart, kind, funny, and it looked naturally even without you’re trying to be. I don’t know why but when I’m with you, I feel secure. I feel good. So, so good.

Dear you,
After all conversation, midnight calls, and all good times that we’ve spent together, I realized that maybe I’m in love with you. It’s not the “I want to be your girlfriend so we can do those romantic things” kinda love, it’s more like I’m in love with you because I feel like you’re the one that I’ve been waiting for so long and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. It’s like that I need you in my life. I need you like a heart needs beat. Though I believe in you, I still keep my expectation low. But then again you surprised me. I know that you’re not that kind of man who easily said some cheesy love words to a woman you love yet you showed it instead and that makes me fall into you even deeper.

Dear love,
Thank you for showing me how to love in the right way. Thank you for giving me that feeling of butterflies in my stomach, smile in my face, and warmth in my heart. Thank you for showing me that love is something you do; something not just to be said, but also to be shown. Thank you for not asking me to be your girlfriend and asking me to be your life partner instead, you know I would definitely say yes even if you’re not asking.

Dear Gagi Aria Alembana Fatkhurahman,
Thank you for making it all happen. It’s like my wish had finally came true and I’m beyond happy. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you, in shaa Allah. Bismillah for our next chapter of life!

Your life partner,
Ardizza Dwittarinda Raharja

P.S: 1, 2, 3, 4.
P.S.S: You know what I mean.

2016; One Hell of a Ride.

Is it too late now to talk a little about what have been through along 2016? I hope it’s not.

I think 2016 wasn’t my year so far. Too many bad things happened to me but surprisingly, it made me even stronger than before. I also think that 2016 is one of my difficult years. I don’t hate it, I just don’t like it. But, still, I thanked God for whatever happened in 2016. I thanked God because I can through the ups and downs. I thanked God I’m still alive.
Let’s take a look on these words for a moment:


by Rupi Kaur

It seems like Rupi Kaur knows me too well. Haha! Her words basically sum up my 2016 life.

Well, ya, that’s 2016 is all about. I can say that 2016 is one hell of a ride. But, I enjoyed it. Thank you 2016, I learnt so much about everything. And now I’m ready for a new ride. I don’t make such a resolution like, “New Year, new me!” that sounds like a bulsht for me, and I don’t make any plans, yet. I’m gonna let universe surprise me. BRING IT ON, 2017!

Video Editor Amatiran

Hello, it’s me again, yang munculnya cuma sebulan sekali. Hahahaha! Ya, mau gimana lagi, banyak urusan ini-itu yang harus diselesaikan, jadi nulis blog aku kesampingkan dulu. Padahal nulis tuh bisa jadi salah satu stress reliever, loh. Jadi, okelah, lemme start again!

Selain sok sibuk kerja, aku juga sebenernya terlibat di salah satu project bareng temen-temenku Fasya dan Anggiet, namanya Fasya and Friends. Apa itu Fasya and Friends? Kalian yang kebetulan lagi mampir di sini terus baca ini, bisa kepo-kepo tentang projectnya, di sini. (Lah, kok pede bakalan ada yang mau kepo, ya? Hahahaha). Aku di sana sebagai kontributor. Selain nulis, aku lebih condong ke dokumentasinya. Hal-hal yang berhubungan dengan dokumentasi kayak foto dan video juga. Aku sendiri sadar kalau dalam hal nulis, bahasa dan alur penulisanku belum terlalu baik, belum konsisten juga ini-itunya. Nah, di bulan Juni yang lalu, Fasya and Friends ini akhirnya merilis akun Youtube. Fungsinya sama aja sih kayak blognya, sama-sama ngasih informasi tentang Bandung, tapi dalam bentuk Vlog. Sejujurnya, aku dan temen-temenku belum terbiasa untuk bicara atau tampil depan kamera, direkam, di-share, dan ditonton sama orang banyak, tapi akhirnya kita berhasil ngelakuin itu semua. Dan aku, dipercayai sama temen-temen untuk jadi video editornya. Tbh, perangkat video editing dan editing skill aku bisa dibilang masih cupu banget dan kurang mumpuni. But I did, I do, and I will do my best for it.

Ini dia video pertama kita dalam rangka memperkenalkan Fasya and Friends di Youtube. Menurut aku pribadi, video pertama ini masih jauh dari kata sempurna. Soalnya ya itu tadi, aku sebagai video editor abal-abal ini masih ngerasa harus banyak belajar tentang video editing. Jadi hasilnya sesederhana ini. But we’re proud of it. Kita juga so happy, soalnya banyak komen-komen positif yang mampir. Jadi semangat buat ngegarap Vlog-nya Fasya and Friends. Yuhu! Check this out:

Nah, kalau yang ini, Vlog pertama Fasya and Friends. Rasanya gimana sih nge-vlog? Awkward, you know? Selain karena baru nyobain ngomong di depan camera di tempat umum, juga kita masih kayak have no idea buat ngomong secara spontan gitu. Ya, maklumin aja ya, semua ini butuh proses. Jadi kalau banyak kekurangan mohon dimengerti aja hahaha. Alhamdulillah penggarapan Vlog #1 ini pun lancar dan mulus dari segi video editing sampai uploadingnya. Bisa ditonton dulu nih:

Yang selanjutnya ini, Vlog penuh drama 2016. Asli. Serius. Boleh cerita sedikit yaaa…
Jadi, Vlog #2 ini diambil saat kita jalan-jalan ke suatu tempat di bilangan jalan Peta, Bandung. Tempatnya emang enjoy banget, tapi sayang pas kita kesana hujan deras. Dari situ udah hopeless kalau Vlog #2 ini bakalan gagal total dan ngerencanain buat bikin Vlog #2 di tempat yang sama next time kalau lagi gak hujan. Setelah ngobrol ngalor ngidul sambil nunggu hujan berhenti, eh, bener, hujannya berhenti! Kita langsung semangat lagi dan akhirnya Vlog #2 pun berhasil sampai akhir. Tapi jangan seneng dulu, proses editingnya lebih banyak dramanya lagi. Mulai dari software-nya bermasalah, render videonya bermasalah, uploadingnya bermasalah, sampai udah masuk Youtube-nya pun bermasalah karena kena copyright gara-gara backsound. Akhirnya terpaksa harus edit ulang dan selesai lah Vlog #2 yang penuh drama ini:

Jadi, begitulah sepenggal cerita aku jadi video editor amatiran beberapa bulan ini. Kalau ada yang bilang hasilnya biasa aja, ya, it’s okay. Dengan hasil yang biasa ini pun aku masih bangga, ternyata aku bisa bikin “sesuatu” dengan skill yang belum mumpuni ini. Ke depannya juga aku bakalan lebih banyak belajar lagi, kok. Soalnya video editing itu fun banget! Asalkan kitanya harus sabar dan ulet ngerjainnya. Salut sama orang-orang yang dibekali kemampuan lebih dalam video editing. Someday I’ll be just like them. Can I get an aamiin?

Anyway, menurut kalian gimana videonya? Maaf ya kalau banyak kekurangan!

Healing Process

“Are you okay?”
Kira-kira itu pertanyaan yang sering banget aku dapet dari temen-temen deketku selama hampir dua bulan ini. Sebenernya gampang buat jawab pertanyaan di atas itu dengan jawaban, “I’m okay…” aja kalau aku emang bener-bener ngerasa baik-baik aja. But the truth is I am not.

Butuh waktu dan energi yang banyak untuk aku sendiri buat jelasin ke mereka apa yang sebenernya aku rasain dan jujur, aku merasa gak nyaman dengan hal itu. So I kept it by myself. Aku takut apa yang bakalan aku ceritain sama mereka itu bakalan bikin mereka terasa terganggu karena pasti I will cry a lot. Belum lagi, mungkin beberapa dari mereka bakal merasa marah ataupun kesal dengan cerita aku ini dan juga, apa yang aku bakal ceritain ini bakalan butuh waktu yang lumayan panjang, karena aku gak bisa jelasin semuanya secara singkat. But then again I remember, ini semua mereka lakuin karena mereka care sama aku. Mereka peka sama keadaan aku yang tidak baik-baik saja ini. Mereka mau meluangkan waktunya buat sekedar bertanya tentang keadaan aku. Thank God, they never leave. So, I started to tell them the stories, even it’s too hurt.
After I told them the whole story, yang jelas semuanya bikin aku ngerasa lega banget. Kayak semua beban yang numpuk itu berkurang sedikit demi sedikit. Respon yang keluar dari mereka pun macem-macem, lho. Ada yang marah, kesal, bijak, islamik, datar, tapi semuanya bikin aku bersyukur, thank God I have them. Mereka semua rata-rata kasih pesan yang sama, such as: ikhlas, pasrah, sabar, better days are coming, dll. Dan satu pesan yang paling aku inget sampai dengan hari ini adalah, “Jangan tinggalkan shalat dan berdoa yang terbaik sama Allah SWT.” Mungkin ini semacam teguran buat aku pribadi yang terkadang masih bolong-bolong shalatnya, yang masih senang-senang dengan apa yang aku dapet tapi suka lupa bersyukur, dan terlalu larut dalam kesedihan sampai-sampai aku lupa kalau aku selalu punya Allah. Di saat itu pula I promised to change myself…


source: Pinterest

It’s amazing how dua heals everything. Setelah aku shalat, berdzikir, bershalawat, mengaji, dan aku berdo’a sama Allah dengan sungguh-sungguh sampai banjir air mata, semua beban yang aku rasain itu kayak hilang semuanya. Aku ngerasa tenang banget. Asli, aku kayak bener-bener ngerasa damai. Rasa sedih yang aku rasain sedikit demi sedikit mulai berkurang. Setidaknya, aku udah gak se-desperate itu lagi. Walaupun jujur, aku masih suka kepikiran hal itu dan bikin aku sedih, but I didn’t show it. I’d rather looked happy than sad. Apa yang bisa aku lakuin sekarang adalah terus berdo’a sama Allah, karena itu yang bisa bikin aku tenang. Aku ulang do’a yang sama setiap harinya, dengan harapan Allah bisa mengabulkannya. Aamiin.


Aamiin. Source: tumblr

Ada rumus:
Jarak = Kecepatan x Waktu
S = V.t

Jika mengulang doa-doa diibaratkan seperti mengayuh sepeda, maka bagaimana kita akhirnya sampai ke arah yang kita tuju (jarak) bergantung pada seberapa sering kita mengulang doa tersebut (kecepatan) dikalikan seberapa lama waktu kita memohon kepada pencipta agar segera sampai ke tujuan (waktu).

Akhir-akhir ini, saya baru tersadar mengapa ada banyak harapan saya yang lamaaa sekali baru terkabul. Permasalahan terbesarnya, saya tidak rutin mengulang doa-doa saya. Ditambah lagi, waktu untuk berdoa terkadang terburu-buru, sibuk lebih tepatnya merasa sibuk. Kapan saya bisa sampai ke tujuan jika:
1. Jarang mengayuh sepeda (baca: rutin mengulang doa)
2. Waktu untuk bersepeda hanya sebentar padahal ini bisa mempercepat sampai ke tujuan (baca: saat menghadap ke Allah untuk berdoa tidak lama).

Jadi sekarang saya akan coba untuk duduk atau sujud lebih lama dan terus mengulang doa-doa saya. Semoga semua doa akan segera tersampaikan. Aamiin.

So yeah, it’s my healing process. I don’t know how long it’s gonna be, sebentar atau lama. Tapi, aku coba untuk nikmatin aja masa-masa ini. Gak kerasa, it’s been (almost) a month, and see? I survived it.

My Life as an Employee

Something just brought me here. Semalem kepikiran kalo kayaknya this blog needs more contents. Kayak sayang aja udah bikin tapi malah gak ada isinya sama sekali. Moody sekali rasanya buat nulis blog. Tapi kemarin mulai kepikiran “I need to make something with this site”, jadilah hari ini di sela-sela kesibukkanku sebagai employee, nyempetin buat bikin draft blog.

Hmm. Ya. Well, being an employee isn’t my thing. Like, I wanna be an entrepreneur and growing up my own business. Tapi di sisi lain, semua juga butuh proses dan usaha maksimal. Butuh modal juga. I couldn’t ask my parents to give me money gitu aja. So I need to make money by myself. Salah satunya jadi employee kayak sekarang ini. Emang sih gak gitu aja dapet uang banyak juga dengan bekerja, tapi setidaknya I make money, bisa ditabungin buat modal bisnis dan juga modal-modal lainnya, mungkin modal nikah hahahaha. “Syukurin apa yang kamu dapet sekarang, sekecil apapun itu”, that’s what my Daddy said. So, dengan penghasilanku yang terbilang belum cukup besar, aku tetep bersyukur karena itu rezeki yang Allah kasih buat aku. Oh, dan satu lagi, pekerjaanku yang sekarang itu sama sekali gak ada hubungannya sama Psychology things and stuff, but I can do it. It’s more like a stepping stone, being out of my comfort zone, sebelum nanti mungkin aku kerja di bidang yang bener-bener sesuai dengan keinginan aku sendiri. To be honest, bekerja di bidang HRD or something juga bukan minatku, sih. Aku lebih menyukai bidang Psikologi yang berhubungan dengan terapi, konseling, dan semacamnya itu. Ya, walaupun aku juga gak terlalu banyak paham.

And ya, it’s March already. I got my very first salary as an employee. Yay! So, yesterday I decide to buy a Big Box from Pizza Hut Delivery and brought it home. Makan bareng Mama dan Deri doang because Kakak was in her office waktu aku dateng bawa pizzanya. I feel so blessed. Thank God 🙂


American Favorite topping is my all time favorite!